Jelousy of the Heart
by xsilvershadowx
Summary: Harry and Draco... eventually... so far it's moving very slowly... Harry and Draco aren't locked in a broom closet...^_^
1. Secret

Jealousy of the Heart  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, or affiliate. I REALLY wish I did though. The Castle and the many traps in it are NOT mine either. damn it. Thank God I DO own the plot. Though, did you know that writing this is VERY depressing, J. K. Rowling is getting paid probably MILLIONS to write with these wonderful characters, and I am sitting here writing only to hope for at least ONE good review from some nice person out there.  
  
Okay, Now, Here we go, Hey, I get to write a WARNING!!! Actually, I should write one of these for all my twisted stories. Here we go, this is SLASH, an m/m story. So, for all you Slash/Yaoi haters, go away, those who are immature and shouldn't be reading this, go away. Trust me, one day you'll thank me. Oh, and also, for you regular slashers, this is a Draco and Harry story. I don't want to hear, it should have been Harry and Ron or Harry and whoever... I'm coming up with Ideas for all that too. I know they make a great pair for this though. Just be glad I'm not writing another pissy, kill everyone story. wait, I haven't posted all of those. whoops.I got to start now. (That was kind of pointless, cause it won't be too bad this chapter, meaning no slash yet. in fact, Draco's not even in this chapter) Plus, I may still change my mind on that.  
  
  
  
Chapter One: Secret  
  
"Huh? Go away. lemme sleep." Ron rolled over and squeezed his eyes shut.  
  
"Ron!! Wake up!!" Harry whispered urgently, "We've gotta get to class. Potions."  
  
That was all it took. Ron rolled off the edge of the bed, much against his will, and sighed.  
  
"Snape'd kill us wouldn't he, if we were late, I mean."  
  
" Aww. he wouldn't kill us, that'd be too nice for him. We'd just about live in those dark, grimy, spider" Ron shivered, "filled dungeon." An actually quite cheery Harry joked, "Oh, and Hermione would continually tell us, 'well, you should have been on time'"  
  
"No, really, hey meet ya in the common room `kay?"  
  
"`Kay." Harry walked down the long spiral staircase past six sturdy wooded doors, with small white signs labeling the year of the students within. As the stairs came to an open room he saw Hermione waiting impatiently near the picture hole. When she spotted Harry glancing around the room, checking out who was there she shouted across the room.  
  
"Yo! Where's Ron?!? We'll all be late for class!! HELLO! What are you thinking?! It's POTIONS!! Do you know." Hermione rambled on until Harry finally cut her of.  
  
"Hermione!! Shut up. He'll be right down, and I do know what Snape'd do to us. So does Ron."  
  
"Well, then WHERE is he?" Hermione was now nearing a panic attack.  
  
"Hermi" Harry cut her off. "What's with you today? What's your problem, you're never this moody. It's not like we haven't been late before."  
  
"Well. It just is REALLY annoying. I can't have detention at night because then I couldn't go see."  
  
"Hey guys!!" Ron shouted from across the room, interrupting Hermione. Although Harry was curious, he didn't put any further thought to it as the trio rushed away to Potions, silently and as quickly as possible.  
  
The three teens rushed down the corridors, and franticly into the dungeons, panting heavily. They took their seats, just before Snape walked into the room. Hermione leaned over and whispered to Harry, "See!!! We were THAT close to."  
  
"Miss. Granger! Can you not see that I'm teaching a class? Stop talking to your boyfriend and pay attention." Snape kept her from finishing her sentence. Hermione's cheeks flushed and she sunk down in her seat as the Slytherins busted up laughing. Just then a small girl walked in to the room.  
  
"Professor Snape, I have a note from Professor McGonagall for Harry Potter." The girl spoke clearly and was very polite. Snape, who never is talked to politely, was startled.  
  
"Well, give it to him, and be gone with yourself." Snape spoke very harshly, for every student in Hogwarts knew that there was no worse thing to do then interrupt Snape's class.  
  
"Here you go Harry" The girl, beginning to feel out of place with Snape breathing down her neck, rushed out of the room, still keeping her composure.  
  
"Back to the lesson. Harry put the note AWAY!" An extremely agitated Snape spat at the class, but mostly at Harry.  
  
Later that day in the lunchroom, The trio was just sitting down to make your own sandwiches, when Hermione remembered the note.  
  
"Harry what'd that note the little girl bring to you in potions say?"  
  
"Well, It just said to meet outside Dumbledore's office. Dunno why though."  
  
" Okay, what time? We'll all go." Ron of course immediately responded, never liking to be out of the action.  
  
"It says that I can't bring anyone. I wonder what they want. I hope I'm not in trouble." Harry began to read the note, "It says,"  
  
Mr. Harry Potter,  
  
Due to certain dire circumstances, and a mere hope for the future, Headmaster Dumbledore, Professor McGonagall, and Professor Lupin, would like to speak with you. Be outside the Headmaster's office by 10:00 tonight, the 13th of October, we trust you know your way. Make sure only you arrive, and that you have no followers. Not even Hermione and Ron.  
  
Best Wishes,  
  
Professor Mervina McGonagall  
  
"Sorry" Harry finished, " I may be able to argue with Voldemort, but I can't argue with the Professors."  
  
"But. HARRY!! Please."  
  
"Ron there's nothing any of us can do about it. But, I'm sure Harry will tell us all about it."  
  
"Yeah." Harry said uncertain, there are just some things that he can't tell anyone.  
  
Around 9:45 Harry set out for the Headmaster's office. Hermione, and a very confused Seamus and Dean all had to hold Ron back from following Harry. Luckily Harry knew Ron had no Idea where the Headmaster's office was.  
  
About 10 minutes later he came upon the small gargoyle guarding it, and waited. He hadn't remembered it being this close; He'd thought it was farther than that. Lupin was also slightly early and he let Harry and himself in to the office. The password was still Lemon Drop, or maybe he'd just changed it back.  
  
"Nice to see you Harry," Dumbledore bowed his head slightly, "and Remus." Again bowing his head, a polite gesture. "I believe that there's someone here to see the both of you." Dumbledore's eyes twinkled as a large shaggy dog rounded the corner, with a small package in its mouth.  
  
The dog set the package down, and then before the duo's eyes became a man the two knew a Sirius Black. He'd been better kept since even the last time they'd seen him. The ministry had better things to do then to look for him. Voldemort was coming back to power.  
  
"Hey Sirius!!" Harry smiled happy to see his godfather.  
  
"Hey there, Harry, Hey Moony." Smiling at his two friends.  
  
"Glad to see we're all getting along. Now, I think that there was more to having Harry meet us all here." An extremely serious McGonagall entered the room.  
  
"Yeah, I know Mervina, Just lemme give Harry this." Sirius bent down to get the package. "Here ya go. They're some pictures of the gang I found when I was rummaging through my old stuff. Hard to believe that no one messed with my old home in all these years. It was a huge mess, but it had a lot of memories."Sirius looked as if he were going to cry. "I'll tell you more about that later though." Sirius handed the package to Harry who didn't open it, He was too curious at what he'd really been called here for.  
  
"Harry. I'm so sorry" a tear rolled down Sirius's cheek, "Do we have to tell him?" An, in Harry's opinion (at this time) overprotective Sirius tried to act normal.  
  
"Harry, like, only you and Voldemort's inner circle have seen, the dark lord is at nearly full power again. I'd imagine that he'd attack as soon as he's at full power. Sadly, we've made a discovery. There is a way you could defeat dark power, but. oh, I can't say it. Mervina, please."  
  
"Dumbledore was trying to say that the only possible answer is sa. sacrifi.s...sac-acrifi-fice." Harry looked stunned; they can't mean what I think, then McGonagall caught her composure long enough to continue, "There's only one person he wants.."  
  
"It's not like we won't try Harry, we're gonna even go the length to teach you d-d-dark m-m-magic. if the person agrees to do so."  
  
Harry sat speechless for what seemed like an eternity. "Your saying that, that the only way I can defeat Voldemort would kill me? That can't be. This is all some big joke." Harry refused to believe them. He took it all as a joke. Who'd be able to teach him dark magic? No one at the school could perform it. right?  
  
"We aren't joking Harry. Not even I would pull of such a mean prank." Sirius was the one with the response. At the Harry knew they weren't joking; He swore that he'd search for another answer. He began to cry, not even Harry could stand this kind of pressure. It was all too much for him.  
  
" It may be that you still have something in you that'd save you. You may be able to save others too, either way," A persistently logic Lupin stated, with falsified hope in his voice.  
  
"Yeah, whatever." Harry sunk into his chair.  
  
"Harry, you ought to get back to your dorm. I'd imagine you'd like a sleeping potion."  
  
Dumbledore handed Harry a small vile with a pale purple liquid in it. "You know, we'd all expected you to die before, when you were a baby, you surprised us then, maybe you'll surprise us once again."  
  
"Don't forget, you don't have to tell anyone anything. You can just say that they asked you up here to see me, so I could give you that." Harry automatically decided not to tell Hermione or Ron, they'd worry too much.  
  
"Thanks Sirius. That'll help."  
  
Then, McGonagall got her turn to say something, "Harry, I really want you to make it through this. If you ever need someone to talk to. I'll be here. Also, Madam Pomfrey will give you a sleeping potion whenever you need it."  
  
"Harry, All of us will always be here for you, and we're going to try and teach you special spells to help in your final battle against Y-K-W."  
  
"When." Harry began.  
  
"As soon as possible."  
  
Harry walked slowly back to his dorm. Coming upon the fat lady, he quietly spoke, "Quidditch champs" The huge painting swung forward, and he stumbled through absent mindedly, almost dropping his present from Sirius. His two best friends were sitting by the fireplace, which wasn't lit, discussing, or more arguing over Quidditch. Harry normally would've found it quite funny, but he wasn't in a good enough mood. The two spotted him, looking sadly at the ground, walking to chair in the corner. They looked at each other and walked quietly over to him.  
  
"So, what's the matter?" Ron inquisitively asked, as charily as he could. Neither of them had ever seen him looking so sad.  
  
"Huh? . Oh, nothing. I'm fine." Harry perked up just a bit, to appear less sad. He didn't want his friends to know, yet.  
  
"Well, What'd they want?" Hermione tried to get something out of him.  
  
"Uhh... they just wanted Sirius to be able to give me this." Harry lied. "See."  
  
He pulled it out. And a note fluttered to the floor. Neither Ron or Hermione noticed, so Harry put his foot on it, and waited for them to leave to move it.  
  
"Let's see it." Ron said, as Harry opened the album. It was, just as Sirius had said, photos of all his dad's friends. There was a picture of a small boy, who looked a lot like Neville, who Harry knew was Pettigrew, standing next to Sirius, Lupin and the messy haired James, who looked just like Harry. The next picture was of three boys, one who looked like Draco, who Harry assumed was Lucius, an older boy, who looked like the Tom Riddle that Harry'd seen in his 2nd year, and a boy about the same age as Lucius with dark greasy hair also a former Slytherin, Snape.  
  
Then he saw five very pretty girls. Between the tenacious trio, they were able to put a name on four of them. There was a red head, whom had bright green eyes just like Harry's, Lily, a young form of Molly Weasley, and an astonishing sight, Professor McGonagall a young girl. They could also put a name with a face for Seamus's mom.  
  
Finally there was a picture of Lily kissing Tom Riddle. They couldn't have been older than the trio was now.  
  
Ah, the perfect place to take a break.^_^ Well, I hope you like it. I'm going to explode before I write the next chapter, I have SO many plot bunnies right now.^_^  
  
Reviews make me write faster^_^ Thanks to all that've reviewed all my previous stories, you seemed to like my Songfic. I had fun with that one. I've got a songfic coming that branches off of this. But it's not part of the story!! 


	2. Tears of the World

Jealousy of the Heart  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, or affiliate. I REALLY wish I did though. The Castle and the many traps in it are NOT mine either. damn it. Thank God I DO own the plot. Though, did you know that writing this is VERY depressing, J. K. Rowling is getting paid probably MILLIONS to write with these wonderful characters, and I am sitting here writing only to hope for at least ONE good review from some nice person out there.  
  
Okay, in my opinion, I shouldn't have to warn you about this being SLASH (because I already did), possible ANGST, GORE (not our idiotic past vice president, for you idiot democrats, no flames on that comment.), definite VIOLENCE, I mean, Harry Potter, Voldemort (the ugliest bad guy ever. BTW- have you noticed that a lot of the Final Fantasy bad guys are as good looking as the good guys.?) And Draco Malfoy, just to name a few violent people, oh, who could forget Weasel (LOL)!! Once again this is SLASH, so if you can't respect that I want to put to hot boys in each other's arms. why not??!! One thing I believe STRONGLY is that everybody deserves his or her own opinion; this is just the way I express mine.  
  
  
  
Chapter Two: Tears of the World  
  
"Harry, are you sure Sirius gave you this?" Hermione cautiously asked her dark-haired friend.  
  
"Yeah, he put it in my hands, all wrapped up, just like it was." Harry watched the picture disappear behind the cover, as Ron shut it. He wasn't upset, just confused. Then he realized that nobody had told him much of anything about his mother. She could've been a Slytherin, but wouldn't the sorting hat have said something about him being a half Slytherin, half Gryffindor? Or had it?  
  
"Harry? Hello, you Okay?" Ron was waving his hand in front of Harry's face, genuinely worried. "Harry?"  
  
"You know, nobody's said anything about your mom, or her house, or about anything, except, that she had green eyes." Hermione did her best to comfort him, " For all you know she was."  
  
"A sneaky, smelly Slytherin like Malfoy and Pansy." Harry finished, he wasn't sure what to think about this whole thing. It didn't hurt *him* at all, it was just more that he had to think about. He'd already decided that he wouldn't tell Ron and Hermione about his secret, although it tugged at his soul like something terrible. If he wasn't careful, he'd end up insane. Then what good would he be? Probably more than now.  
  
"HARRY!!" Once again Harry was pulled out of his thoughts into the harsher truth.  
  
"I'm going to bed." Harry whispered softly.  
  
"But, Harry, it's only 10:49 on a FRIDAY." Hermione said, realizing the absurdity of her comment  
  
"Harry, don't forget about Hogsmeade tomorrow." Ron shouted, "Hey Hermione, I'm gonna go too now, sorry, maybe you could go join the party that Lav, and Parvati are throwing. Ginny's there."  
  
"Yeah, sure. Make sure Harry's okay, I don't think that picture is it. You catching my drift?"  
  
"uh-hu." Ron grunted, walking off.  
  
Slowly making his way up the stairs, Harry swayed back and forth, nearly in tears. Then, as one tear rolled down his cheek he heard Ron's voice calling after him. Harry took a deep breath, and a wiped the tear away. He couldn't let anyone see him cry. Harry stepped into the dark dorm room, and made his way to his tall, dark oak four-poster bed, and flopped down, grabbing his wand. He put a silence spell on it and pulled the curtains shut, just as Ron walked into the room. Harry started to cry.  
  
Why *me*? Why? I don't even know who I am. I'm not special. I never did anything worthy of respect. I don't even have the face to go with my title. A superhero. That's all I am. That's all people think of me as. Aren't superhero's supposta be lifeless bitches that dedicate their lives to helping others? What if that's *NOT* who I am? What if I just want to be a normal 16 year old? WHY me?  
  
Slowly but surely Harry fell asleep. He didn't know it, but Ron had been spying on him the whole time. Luckily Harry hadn't said anything about his *fate*  
  
"Harry? We're really worried."  
  
"Is this all from the picture?"  
  
"You missed your victory party."  
  
"It was for you"  
  
Harry didn't comprehend the meaningless comforts coming from his friends, just cringing inside at the terrible thoughts consuming him. The last night had been a rough night. He'd woken up three times that before seven, when he decided just to stay up. His scar still was burning. He, naturally, assumed that it was *that* time of the year. Time for Voldemort to come and some mysterious force to protect him. It's just he'd been running out of mysterious forces. Maybe if he was Lucky, one of the Dark spells could protect him, from certain death.  
  
Just then, Hedwig dropped a small note on his plate and gave a loud hoot. Harry absent-mindedly gave her a small handful of breadcrumbs, she hooted and flew off.  
  
"Well.?" His friends anxiously inquired about the note.  
  
Harry glanced at it and saw:  
  
Harry-  
  
Did you like the pictures? Meet Moony, your new 'teacher', and me in the trophy room, we'll be waiting at midnight tonight, don't be late.  
  
--Sirius  
  
Harry ran away before he'd have to explain to Ron and Hermione. The two looked across the table at each other and ran after him.  
  
Harry ran right into the common room and sat down behind the sofa. He whispered to himself, trying to find out a way to avoid telling his friends. He didn't want anyone to feel sorry for him and to risk their lives for *him*. His thoughts began to wonder again. He wondered who his 'teacher' would be. Who could teach dark magic? Would he be strong enough?  
  
"Harry? Where are you?" Hermione was the first one in the common room. She and Ron began to search, as if they were playing Hide-and-seek. Harry realized there'd be no escaping them. So he stood up.  
  
"Hey." Harry said, flopping onto the couch.  
  
"Harry? Seriously, are you okay?" Ron asked.  
  
"Yeah, we can help if something's wrong. You can tell us anything, and it won't change the way we think of you" Hermione, added exactly what he didn't want to hear. That's what SHE thought. Of course it would change you'd pity me. I don't want that.  
  
"No, I'm fine. Thanks for worrying though."  
  
"Harry, we *know* something's wrong." Ron said, "And it's not just about the picture."  
  
"No, I'm FINE! Why would I lie to you?"  
  
"You tell us. Please Harry, we CARE!" Hermione declared in an annoying, 'I- need-to-know voice.'  
  
"For the last time, I AM FINE, nothing's wrong," Harry blatantly lied to his friends.  
  
"Whateeevveeer!!" Hermione sighed in an exasperated voice.  
  
"We never kept secrets before. Why now?" Ron was obviously hurt, "Why can't you tell me?"  
  
"I just can't" Harry whispered in a barely auditable voice. He wasn't sure if Ron had heard him or not, until Ron finally responded.  
  
"It has something to do with Dumbledore, McGonagall, Lupin and Sirius." At this, Harry's head snapped quickly up.  
  
"Don't say his name." Harry snarled violently at Ron, "He's the only one who.never mind." Harry couldn't believe that he'd almost said that.  
  
"Harry, Maybe you shouldn't go to class."  
  
"No, It's the only thing I have left, my only chance to." again Harry'd almost said too much. He began to cry. It wasn't all right. After just a second, Harry stood up as if he hadn't just sobbed in front of his friend, and said, come on. Or we'll be late." Harry knew that wasn't true, they still had an hour till they had to be in the Great Hall. Harry knew his friends cared, but if they were worried now, imagine how they'd be when they *knew* his destiny. His fate. Shit, since when did he believe in fate? The repugnant, homicidal, bastard who killed so many, would he really need to die for his revenge? Where's the point in that? How could *it* be.  
  
Hogsmeade was relaxing for everyone. Hermione and Ron were careful not to ask Harry anything to upset him. It all came and went quickly finally all the Gryffindors were in the common room, excitedly discussing the upcoming Quidditch match, against Ravenclaw. Ginny and her friends were calling Harry over to ask him all about it. Checking his watch, realizing it was only 9:01 walked over to talk. He still had a whole 3 hours until he found out the dark wizard lurking around the school. He began to regret that thought.  
  
"Harry, what's up with you, 'mione and Ron?"  
  
"Yeah! Are you guys *fighting*?"  
  
"You can tell us, what'd Ron do, 's he showing his true colors?" Ginny finally finished off her question, the five fifteen year old girls looked up at him anxiously. He couldn't tell them. Damn, he had to tell someone. He'd die if he didn't. But who wouldn't worry? Maybe talking to Sirius and Lupin would help. Hopefully.  
  
"I can't tell you." Harry finally answered all of them.  
  
"Awww. why not?" They all said in synchrony.  
  
"Harry, please?" Ginny batted her lashes at him, "You can tell me anything."  
  
Since when was Ginny so confident around him? "I still can't tell you anything. Sorry" Harry was becoming edgy around everyone, so he grabbed his books, and carried them to the corner of the room, and sat by Hermione, who instantly turned into the ultimate questioner. The came questions came around and hit hard. Harry finally had enough, without even answering any of her questions he fled to the dorms. He flung himself on t his empty bed, and sat there, thoughts consuming him, until all the other sixth years had gone to bed. He slipped on the invisibility cloak to get out of his room, and quietly snuck out of the painting hole, and off to the trophy room. He didn't know what to expect. He heard two voices. His heart fell when he realized that they were Sirius's and Remus's. Those two couldn't teach him that much. Who was the new man? His new teacher.  
  
Harry took a deep breath and hoped that it was someone he knew.  
  
"Wait. I hear him. It's Harry." Sirius's doglike senses were inescapable. He turned towards the door, "Hey Harry!" Sirius had a huge smile on his pre-maturely aged face.  
  
"Hey there old man!!" Remus joked, but by the look on Harry's face you'd think he was a good thirty years old and was carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders. Only half of this was true though.  
  
"Harry? Are you okay?" Sirius and Remus both lost their smiles. The young boy looking so sad was too much for them. It reminded them of a dear friend, just like the black haired green-eyed boy in front of them. How could they be so sure that he was the one?  
  
Harry slowly began, forcing himself not to cry, "I think. well, no." He couldn't help any more, he started to cry, for about the fifth time since he'd found out. It wasn't quite what you'd expect from such a strong, honest, nice young man, considered a superhero, as far as Wizards are concerned anyway.  
  
"Harry. It'll be okay, come on, you need your concentration, this, and your cunning are the two ways that you'll be able to beat. *him*. Come on. dry your tears."  
  
"Ok.Kay." Harry choked softly. A glimmer of hope is better than none at all. Never, lose that hope, Harry, never. It's all you have. The light at the end of the tunnel may not always be so bad. Harry laughed slightly when he saw the sad looks of Remus and Sirius.  
  
"Sirius, was my mom a Slytherin?" Harry remembered his question.  
  
"Why do you ask?"  
  
"I saw the picture of my mom and Tom Riddle." Harry said, a little edge in his voice.  
  
"Oh. well I guess you'd find out sooner or later. Yeah, she was, but not a normal Slytherin, she had heart." Remus was the one to answer.  
  
"That explains a lot." Harry sighed, "I understand why the sorting hat had such a hard time sorting me."  
  
"WHAT?!?!" They were both surprised.  
  
"Yeah, I was almost a Slytherin. If Malfoy hadn't insulted Ron and Hermione before asking for my friendship, that's probably where I'd be." Harry explained, "The hat only chose Gryffindor over Slytherin, because I'd told it not to put me there. sorry" Harry added the extra bit at the surprised looks from his friends.  
  
Just then a deep, heavy voice was heard from the doorway, and everyone turned to look at the speaker.  
  
  
  
Haha, who could it be.?? Humm. I'm not sure yet(THAT was a lie, you probably know).. I could make it REALLY good, or SUPER bad from here. n-e ways the slash is coming. I'm not sure how yet though..^_^ naturally any tips are accepted, and the people who review, AND have a story, expect a review, *unless* you put something dumb like I hate N'Sync (Someone did that for my '_______' fic, or Harry Potter sux (why'd you read it then?) or just plain old, You Suck. All those comments are so retarded. 


	3. Running From the Truth

Jealousy of the Heart  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, or affiliate. I REALLY wish I did though. The Castle and the many traps in it are NOT mine either. damn it. Thank God I DO own the plot. Though, did you know that writing this is VERY depressing, J. K. Rowling is getting paid probably MILLIONS to write with these wonderful characters, and I am sitting here writing only to hope for at least ONE good review from some nice person out there?  
  
Okay, in my opinion, I shouldn't have to warn you about this being SLASH (because I already did), possible ANGST, GORE, definite VIOLENCE, I mean, Harry Potter, Voldemort (the ugliest bad guy ever. BTW-have you noticed that a lot of the Final Fantasy bad guys are as good looking as the good guys.except in ten, now, sin is UGLY, but it's not a 'guy' n-e more.) And Draco Malfoy, just to name a few violent people, oh, who could forget Weasel (LOL)!! Once again this is SLASH, so if you can't respect that I want to put to hot boys in each other's arms. your crazy. Two heads are better than one. Oh, and I have two contests below. First one you tell me the artist, and song title, the second one is the challenge, just like any other. THANKS^_^  
  
::sings::  
  
---Like you're always stuck in second year. I'll be there for you if your there for you too.  
  
---Give a little bit, of your love to me. Give a little bit.  
  
---Never mad it as a wise man, Couldn't cut it as a poor man stealing.  
  
--- In the arms of an Angel, in your silent reverie. On a star called Othello  
  
--- Every moment I spend with you I treasure. I'd still miss you baby, and I don't wanna miss a thing.I don't wanna close my eyes don't wanna fall asleep  
  
  
  
Chapter Three; Running from the Truth  
  
A dark silhouette of a slender figure, not even as tall as Harry was with shoulder length hair pulled into a low ponytail.  
  
"Potter. Black. Professor Lupin. Here I am." He spoke in short sentences, and sounded cold and resentful.  
  
As the figure came closer, Harry noticed gray eyes that were cold as stone, appearing actually quite colorful against the pale white of his skin. Harry gasped as the figure came into focus in the dull flickering candlelight.  
  
It was Draco Malfoy. *He* was going to teach Harry the dark arts? That just added to Harry's suspicion, on top of questions like, why would they trust him to learn them, they may drive him to the dark side with Voldemort. Wasn't there *any* good magic to use? Any white magic? Like his mother's blessing? Or the wand's connections?  
  
"What's the matter, Potter" Draco for once didn't seem spiteful, just for lack of better words tolerable. Harry was further disturbed by this.  
  
"Nothing. So, you're my 'teacher'?" Harry scoffed, He knew that Malfoy's father had been an inner circle death eater, so he probably DID know a lot of dark spells. He may even be able to use the Avda Kedavra, Cruticus, and Imperius curses. Involuntarily Harry shuddered. THAT scared him.  
  
"Don't worry Potter, I wouldn't have been able to use *those* curses on you, I'm not strong enough, especially to harm *you*, more than maybe a broken arm, anyway, only one person...er thing is. and he will try until he dies, though." Draco almost seemed to read Harry's mind.  
  
"Yeah, okay. Then how will you teach me?"  
  
"Same way my dad tried to teach me."  
  
"Okay.?"  
  
"Well, mister Malfoy, where shall we start?" Lupin interrupted the two boys quickly, so that they'd stay on task.  
  
Draco looked towards Harry, whom was looking nervous; obviously worried that HE wouldn't be strong enough. Draco knew, just from what he'd seen, that he'd have no problem, because he could control his anger, and was more than powerful enough. A grin spread across his face. He'd have to start hard.  
  
"How bout Avda Kedavra? It's perfect to start with."  
  
Harry's jaw dropped about a foot into the floor. "WHAT? That's like the most powerful of them all."  
  
"Is that so? Okay, first, you need to have anger, I'd recommend thinking thoughts of the person you most hate. Oh, and, it'll be the hardest to control, when you get that mad, so, be careful."  
  
Harry sat deep in thought. Who do I MOST hate, how easy is that? He killed my parents, ruined so much, and has terrorized me and my friends for so long. Voldemort. Harry's gaze slid from his spot on the cold hard floor, up to look Draco in the eyes. He saw nothing but honesty for once in his life. The blue-gray eyes he was looking into seemed peaceful.  
  
"That hard?" Only if Harry knew the downfall of He-who-must-not-be-named's 'endless' rein wouldn't be as dangerous as prophesized. Draco continued, "Okay, now, use your wand, point it at the object you wish dead, and speak the words, Avda Kedavra. Just like Moody, er.Crouch."  
  
"Okay?" Harry concentrated on the visions from his terrible nightmares, and the shrill screams he heard in his head so often. He was close to tears and his naturally bight eyes glowed, filling the room in a misty green light, and the three people sitting around himcould feel the huge amounts of pure anger and power filling the room. Harry took a deep breath and, pointing his wand at the little spider yelled, "Avada Kedarva!!!"  
  
The entire castle seemed to shake, as a bolt of green was emitted from Harry's pheniox feathered wand. It took a definite form of a huge Basilisk, much unlike the ones he'd seen the dark Lord perform, which were shapeless, and slightly weaker. The figure looked at the creature Draco gasped as a shaking Harry fell to the floor, engulfed in soft tears. Sirius took a step towards the boy who lived, then seemed to think better of it. Harry curled up into a ball and rolled over, onto his feet. Nobody said a word for a moment, and then Harry spotted the spider, lying dead in the small glass cage, which was unharmed. Harry fled from the room, unbelieving of what had just happened, and not knowing, either the form his curse took, or the glowing in his eyes. How could he be capable of such an evil thing.  
  
Harry raced around corner after corner of the twisting halls for what seemed like hours, until he ran SMACK into Dumbledore.  
  
"Harry? Why aren't you with Mr. Malfoy?" Harry fell to his knees, and began to whimper, being reminded of what he did. He felt terrible for running out like that, but he didn't want Draco to see him crying. It was all too much.  
  
"I.I. I just. in there. killed it." Harry spluttered out, in a mess of incomprehensible words. "It.it's dead. I. I did that."  
  
"Wait a minute slow down. What did you kill?"  
  
"It was Avda Kedavra, I thought of him, and it died.because of me."  
  
"Yes, what died?"  
  
"The. the little spider. I didn't want to hurt it. Only him"  
  
"Who?"  
  
"Voldemort." Harry was shaking, now in control of the warm tears sliding down his bright pink cheeks.  
  
"What on earth were they doing in there?" This time Dumbledore spoke more to himself then to Harry, but all the same was befuddled by the state of mind the young boy was in.  
  
"Avada Kedavra, because of me. it's dead." Harry slowly stood up, unsteadily.  
  
Draco shifted uncomfortably as a huge amount of green light flew from Harry's wand, Harry's glowing green eyes watching it, take shape and fly into the tiny arthropod lying there. He shuddered as he saw it suck the life right out of the tiny spider. He could only hope that it didn't up set Harry too much.  
  
The next moment Harry was. crying? No wonder he'd run. Surprisingly Sirius and Remus just sat there, and didn't even say anything to Draco.  
  
Draco closed his eyes internally scolding himself. How could he have done this to Harry, even though Harry was his archenemy Draco felt sorry.  
  
He got to his feet and wordlessly walked from the room, looking down both of the long corridors, before darting one way after Harry who'd just rounded a corner. But, Harry was much faster than Draco, and easily got out of sight, and was impossible to find, so Draco headed back to the now empty classroom. He sat down rather gracefully, and awaited Harry's return.  
  
A huge yawn overcame his pale sadistic face, as he leaned back in the chair, and allowed his eyelids to flutter shut. Just moments later, Harry opened the door, quietly, and noticed him sitting there asleep. Harry just snorted lightly, and whispered to himself, "That's probably the most innocent I've ever seen him look."  
  
"Is that so." Draco's drawling voice penetrated the stillness settling into the small room. The two boys sat in silence, not a word uttered until; Harry coughed and said, "If we're done, I'm going to bed.  
  
"Hey, Harry," Harry turned around at the sound of Draco saying his name in such a perfect way, "I'm sorry we started off like that."  
  
Harry just nodded and continued out the door, Draco not far behind.  
  
Shortly Harry reached the Fat Lady, and said, "Lunius Mundane"(A/N-don't ask, cause I don't know.) and allowed the portrait to swing open allowing Harry passage into the Gryffindor commons. Harry walked up the stairs, silently opened his dorm door, and slipped inside.  
  
"Harry? Is that you?" Ron said sleepily.  
  
"Yeah, go back to sleep now."  
  
But Ron got up and walked over to Harry's bed, "Wait, Please tell me what's going on."  
  
"Huh?" Harry yawned and climbed into his four-poster, and crawled under the covers.  
  
"You've gotten mysterious letters that you won't let me read, and went out late night exploring tonight. with out asking me to come." Ron was speaking in vain though, for Harry had already fallen asleep, dreaming like and angel.  
  
  
  
Well. How do ya like it? Please review; it only takes a few seconds out of your busy day. Thank go out to all my friends, and reviewers. If you write a signed review I'll read some of your stuff. Thanks. 


	4. Worried?

Jealousy of the Heart  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, or affiliate. I REALLY wish I did though. The Castle and the many traps in it are NOT mine either. damn it. Thank God I DO own the plot. Though, did you know that writing this is VERY depressing, J. K. Rowling is getting paid probably MILLIONS to write with these wonderful characters, and I am sitting here writing only to hope for at least ONE good review from some nice person out there?  
  
Harry was gently shaken awake by a pair of firm hands with long, thin fingers. As he slowly opened his eyes, he saw a blurr of red hair, pale skin and worn black cloth. He reached for his glasses, slipped them on, blinking as the shapes became the people they were, shadowed in the dark. Harry glanced quickly at the clock and groaned. He turned over, "Go back to bed you guys!!" It was 7:36, classes would begin in less than 30 minutes, yet to Harry it seemed like he'd just fallen asleep and he couldn't recall why he didn't sleep last night. "HARRY!! You need to get up!" A high pitched voice rang through the room, "We can't be late, hurry up!" "Hermione, forget the classes, remember what I said." This voice was Ron, he sounded really upset. "Huh?" Harry rolled over into a sitting position, and looked at the crowd around his bed. Hermione, Ginny, Ron, Neville, and The Twins were standing around, all looking at him like he was keeping something from them. "Ron told us that you went out last night and came back with red, watery eyes, and fell right asleep, with out telling him anything." Fred just spit it out, getting a glare from Ron and Hermione. "Yeah, Harry, Are you doing Muggle Drugs or what? Cause if you are, you're WAY to obvious!" George's usual attitude was gone, he was completely serious, which kind of scared Harry. "Guys, I SERIOUSLY don't know what you're talking about." He curled up in a ball and hid from his friends stares. "And I seriously saw you come in at 4:00 in the morning!!" Ron was in Hysterics "If I knew, I'm sure I'd tell you, but I don't!" "Harry, we're your friends, you can tell us anything." Hermione glared at Ron, and turned back to Harry, worried. "IF I FIGURE OUT WHAT YOU WANT, I'LL ANSWER YOUR QUESTIONS!!! UNTIL THEN, LEAVE ME ALONE!!!" With that Harry stomped off into the bathroom, and got ready for class leaving his friends, all the people he cared for most, sitting bewildered beside his bed, worried about him. Harry, after much confusing thought, came out of the steamy shower, and noticed Ron had his curtains drawn around his bed with a light glow illuminating the red fabric making it glow a faint ruby. Every few seconds he could hear a soft shifting, or a sniff. Harry instantly felt sorry for Ron, even if Harry had less than no idea what Ron was talking about, being out at 4:00 in the morning! Why would he do that? Still, Ron was his best Friend; he shouldn't have blown him off like that! Harry sulkily plodded down the red-carpeted stairs, deep in thought. At the bottom of the spiral, he bumped into Hermione, rushing by on her way to class. "Hey Hermione!" Harry smiled and tried to help her pick things up, but she just ignored him and went on her way. She met Ron at the portrait and they continued to class, without Harry. "Hey, Angie!" Harry was obviously desperate, because even though Angie was a year older, she was a sixth year, she was just as obsessed with him as the Creeveys. "Harry!! How are you!?!" The tall(compared to Harry) brunette answered. She was actually very pretty, but, she was pretty like Parvati and Lavender. "Just great" Harry's deepening voice dripped with sarcasm, as he rolled his green eyes, which went completely unnoticed by his aficionado. "That's wonderful! Where are all your friends?" Harry, amazed the pip noticed the absence of his usual companions, was at a loss of words to explain why he wasn't walking to class with Ron and Hermione, "Uh, yeah, they um, woke up late, and told me to go ahead." "Okay, cool! You wanna walk with me? What do you have first?" "Transfiguration. What about you?" "Potions. Yuck!" "So sorry, we'd better get to class" "Okay, I'll walk you there." Harry heard some of the sixth and seventh years snickering, but decided to ignore it. The two headed off to class through the portrait hole.  
  
"Good afternoon class!!" The tiny Professor Flitwick squeaked. But it hadn't been a good day at all. After his morning classes, he tried to talk to his friends, but when they started nagging him about what he did last night, Harry told them he didn't know what they were talking about, and that made them even more upset. "Today we will be learning a very complicated spell that detects peoples moods, and reads some thoughts. Ideally it would be much simpler so you could use it in everyday life, and know when someone is or isn't in the mood to talk, or play a game or whatever. "Now, I need a volunteer. We'll see what kind of mood they are in." At first nobody raised their hand, for obvious reasons, so Flitwick told the class whomever volunteered would get extra credit if they were in a good mood. Naturally, almost everybody in the class raised their hands, and Flitwick jumped back, surprised by the enthusiasm. "Okay, let's have Potter up here." "But, sir, I didn't raise my hand." "Come on, let's go," Harry reluctantly pulled himself from the chair and stood at the front of the room. "What do I need to do?" "Stand there and look pretty now, Mr. Potter. Okay, observe closely, we have the subject, Harry, we use our nice little swish and flick motion, and say, 'innermarvious'" Suddenly a wheel appeared in front of the professer and when in came to a stop, a small arrow was pointing to a face. He held it up for the class to see and they all saw a bright yellow smiling face. Everyone laughed and laughed. Harry knew that something had gone wrong, until he noticed the smiley face was right next to a tired/angry face, which was more complicated than all the others. Harry smiled slightly and returned to his seat. He looked down at Ron who knew he wasn't happy, and laughed slightly when he saw Ron asking Professor Flitwick if he knew he did it right.  
  
Later on that night, in the Trophy room, Draco stood, waiting for the Dark- haired boy. He waited for several hours before he walked down to where Sirius and Lupin were staying to ask them if they knew where Potter was. He came around a corner, to a large statue of a large shaggy dog, a thin wolf, a grand stag and the body of a rat, where the head was broken off. "Guard Harry" He whispered to the stone figure, and they all scattered leaving a long slide clear. He jumped in, and followed the twisting tube downward until he landed in a huge room decorated in Gryffindor colors. He banged on their separate doors, and they both came running out, in full robes, and glanced at Draco and immediately their eyes grew with worry. "What?" Lupin yawned. "Harry was supposta be in the Trophy Room two hours ago, but he never showed up!" "WHAT!" Sirius dashed off, out the door, the other two just behind by steps. He ran right up to the Gryffindor tower, and straight to the boy's dorms, not noticing Harry on one of the couches, curled up with Quiddich through the Ages. Draco, not wanting to be seen by Ron or any other Gryffindor boys, walked over to one of the couches, and started to sit down, yet he sat on something quite unlike a couch. "Ouch! Yo, Arse, get off me!!" Draco jumped up, and as soon as he was off Harry, Harry sat up and looked at the small blonde boy in front of him.  
  
Well. I finally posted more^_^ yep yep!! REVIEW PLEASE!! 


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